by Piper Plummer Mehigan | Jul 10, 2020 | Life In General
Just finished reading the book Pat gave me for Mother’s Day – “Somebody’s Gotta Do It (A Memo He knows me well – and he has been listening to me vent for the last 18 or so years, he has now known me. I’ve been venting much longer than the last four years about politics and the state of certain aspects of our society. For those that know me, this doesn’t come as much of a shock, for those that don’t you might wonder what I could have to be upset about. I would tell you plenty. I lean to the passionate side.
When I was younger I honestly wanted to be a US Senator. As I grew older, I realized this was probably not the right job for me. One, I have a hard time not getting upset (see passionate comment) about lots of things and taking verbal abuse from others and two, I have a few skeletons in my closet that I would like to stay there. I also thought said skeletons might keep me from getting elected. I now know that isn’t the case and most of my skeletons are nothing compared to what we now know you can do and get elected.
The last 4-6 years, but especially the last 4 have started me thinking about running for office again. I am deeply and truly concerned about a variety of issues and the state of our country. For me, this is not the America I knew or was raised believing in. I don’t care what party you belong to – nothing we are doing right now is working. Well, frankly there is no work being done, at least not by Congress. There is a reason they are the least liked profession in the US.
So this book – “Somebody’s Gotta Do It (a memoir)” – from Pat arrived at just the right moment. Because we have had some additional free time of late, I had time to read it (no excuses about all the other things I should be doing). I can’t say enough about what a great read it is if you are thinking of running for office or have any interest in politics. Full disclosure, Adrienne Martini is a Democrat and she comes at this book from her left-leaning positions. Martini ran for office because of what happened in 2016. She had so much anger and sadness. She needed a place to channel those feelings and felt she needed to do something. The subtitle of the book says it all – “Why Cursing at the News Won’t Save the Nation, but Your Name on a Local Ballot Can.” The local angle of this book is key and mirrors the way I have been thinking for a while. Due to many reasons, way more gets done now at our local level. This is where real changes are being made that are impacting our lives.
States rights might actually be playing a large role – for you conservative leaning types. I’m not an expert, so I have no idea what all of this will mean for the United States part of the United States of America, but we may just find out. A good bit of what happens in government has always been done on the local level, with most of us not even aware of all of it. During our recent crisis with the COVID-19 pandemic, we have seen a lot of state control play out. Again, for better or worse.
Martini ran for a local office, as a representative on the Otsego (NY) County Board of Representatives, in 2017 and won. The book is about what she learned both while running and after taking office, why she ran and why others like her need to run. It also discusses some of the obstacles to why people don’t run. She talks with others like her that were angry after 2016 and decided to run for office. Most of these people are women and women of color.
I gained many insights from reading the book, some new, some I already knew and felt, but wasn’t sure how to verbalize. Martini did a great job of doing it for me. Halfway through the book, I had decided I would run for some local office as soon as it was time (meaning elections would be held and terms would be ending). I worked for my local government many years ago and am well aware of the good and bad that goes on there. I’m also aware of the large quantity of programs and touches our local government has on our lives each day. So I feel this might be a good place for me to start trying to make a difference. I truly believe that for our government to work and work for all of us, those making the policies need to look more like all of us and the communities that they represent. There needs to be more women. There needs to be more people of color. And if they can be women of color – even better. They also need to be from different backgrounds and bring different life experiences with them. Period. I would not even pretend to know what it is like to be in the shoes of a first generation immigrant with little education access, low wages, living in an area of high crime and violence. Why would others pretend to know? While we can’t always know or have individuals in office that know, we can at least try to engage them in discussions when making policy that impacts their lives.
By engaging I don’t just mean through town halls or emails, let’s get them on city/county committees, encouraging diversity in those running for office, hiring them in government jobs, let’s really engage them. This brings us to our first hurdle for those of different backgrounds running for office, being involved in committees or even frankly voicing their concerns. Martini talks about how in her small community the county board and committees meet during the day, during working hours for the staff that handles the work the board and committees work on. They do this because the meetings take hours – they don’t want the staff to have to work additional hours after work (really long hours, some meetings take 4 or more hours), they don’t have a city manager format, so all decisions must have board approval. This is how they have always done it. For the most part, the only people that have time for this are the retired and business owners (who can set their own schedules). The job also takes a lot of time outside of the meetings and pays very little; in her county just a little over $13,000 a year. So, when you factor all of that in; people working in hourly jobs with no control over their schedules, moms with little kids at home or kids of school age, and just about any working person without lots of control over their schedules simply cannot run for office. Or even sit on committees. Ask yourself, what does that leave us with? Mostly white affluent men. That is not representative of our communities. There is no easy solution for this, but the first step is that if you can run, run.
Which Is why I was thinking I should run. Yes I am affluent, white and educated, but I am at least a woman. A woman who has been on the receiving end of more than her share of harassment. And I wasn’t always affluent. My mother’s parents lived in a housing project. I spent a lot of time there. My mother was the first in her family to get a college degree – frankly to graduate from high school. My dad’s family was better off, but his parents had not been to college. I at least have some perspective and have had family members benefit from the programs our government provides. The very ones that are frequently under fire.
I looked into my village’s board of trustees and committee make up. Here’s what I found. Of the 60 people on committees, 22 were women. That’s 36%. The village break down by gender is 50.77% female. The village board is made up of 7 members, only one member is a woman and the village president is a woman. That’s 28%. I didn’t delve into the make up of our state level representation, but based upon what I’ve seen, it’s probably similar.
So yes, I should run. If nothing else to start the conversation. But…and it’s a big, long buuuutttt…for now I’m not going to. First, see my original reasons for not running – skeletons and passion. After finishing the book, I don’t think my skeletons would matter, but I fear my passion might just get the best of me. In this day and age of social media, I’m just not sure I can manage the daily abuse in a way that would be constructive for me or my family. You say, it’s only a local election for village trustee. I say, I’ve lived here for 15 years and yes, it would probably be ugly. I have not always been treated the best here and I’m not even running for office. That too is too bad. Good people will not run, if we can’t become kinder to one another and be more open minded to differences.
For now, what I am planning to do is figure out how to help others get elected and find some issues dear to me that I can advocate for. This will be my way to channel some of my passion about the injustices I see happening in my community.
But…if you can run, run because somebody’s really gotta do it. And let me know if you need my help.
“There is no hero coming to save us, which is both the bad news and the good news. As important as national politics can be, one person can’t fix it so that we can all disengage again. We have to rebuild from the ground up, one small office at a time. We have to have the hard conversations in coffee shops and realize that we can’t change minds that really don’t want to be changed. It’s exhausting. It’s a mess. It’s frustrating. But we have to do it anyway. Civilization doesn’t just happen.” – Adrienne Martini
by Piper Plummer Mehigan | Mar 20, 2020 | General Health and Wellbeing, Life In General
It’s the Virus, Stupid!
For some reason today as I was thinking about how much my mood had shifted – day three on real lockdown – that phrase came to mind. Some of you may remember it as – “It’s the economy, stupid.” from a campaign cycle years ago, but my thought came to “It’s the virus, stupid.” And yes, I do realize that stupid isn’t a nice word.
But that’s how I’m feeling…stupid, scared, sad and generally out of sorts. I don’t know what the right thing is to do. These are unchartered waters. For all of us. All. Of. Us. Let’s first remember that. We have had other national emergencies, but this seems and feels different to me. Not less scary than the terrorist attacks of 9-11, but while we haven’t forgotten the horror and fear of that event, we might have forgotten we weren’t sure at that time how long things would be bad and if life would ever be normal again. We didn’t know. We didn’t know. This feels different for me I think because I’m not as worried about me, as I am about possibly giving an a loved one or a stranger a disease that could kill them. That’s scary.
Feeling stupid because I don’t know what the right things is – even for simple decisions, like should I go to the grocery store? Should I eat take out from containers that might be contaminated? Stupid. Will we all be able to receive the care we need? With the stupid answer being no. And for many of us, who foolishly believe because we live in the modern, westernized world, we will get medical care that’s unsettling. I’m not talking about medical care for things like cancer and rare diseases or trying to debate health care for all or the inequalities of our medical/healthcare world. Those are all real, but not what I am talking about here. I’m talking about the care we all thought we could get if we came down with pneumonia. We now know that if many of us come down with coronavirus and it’s devastating respiratory issues at the same time – we won’t get care. There won’t be enough to go around. That’s different than some random act of violence impacting us. Again, no less scary, but different. We also know that it’s something we can help stop spread, not always the case with violence. Then we see others not participating in our social distancing to help flatten the curve. (By the way, did most of us understand that terminology a week ago?) That adds to my feeling stupid, scared and sad. Plus maybe a bit mad.
I’m scared for those I love. First I’m scared on the basic level. I don’t want people I love to die. Especially not from a virus I might give them. Then there is the next level of fear. The fear for the ones that own small businesses (one of our very own Three Honest Women), those who are self employed, service providers and the recently retired. Or for that matter any retired. I’m not sure what I can do to help the first ones in that list, but I’m going to try. As for that last group, that’s one I am now a part of – the recently retired.
The Mehigans are in our first year of navigating retirement for the bread winner. This has definitely been a downer. We were just learning how to spend more time together and less money. Now we are basically stuck together with internet shopping being one activity! Wow. I’ll just leave that one right there. Thank god we don’t need our nest egg yet, because don’t even look at your 401K. Really, don’t even look. And we are in a better place than some. We have things to sell – if we can find a buyer. Pat and I could also go back to work. If we can find someone hiring. But there are some who are really in the final stages of retirement – can’t sell and can’t work.
Totally scared for my 13 year old and how this will impact her. Who knows what the repercussions of being a 13 year old only child stuck in your house for 4 weeks or longer will have. Who knows. On line learning…well I’m not sure about that. Only because it is so new for our family and our school. The school – and probably all schools – is trying really hard, but again new territory. So that makes me not only scared, but feel stupid. Tess is only in 7th grade, plenty of time to work that out, but what about high school juniors? What about the families that don’t have access to the internet or home computers? What happens to those kids? That is scary and sad.
Sad. Well I’m sad for a lot of reasons. I know people who live alone (another one of the Three Honest Women) and I worry about them. For 13 years I’ve spent a good part of my life alone, but at around 5 pm some adult always showed up. For some of these people living alone that happened because they went to the gym or the grocery. Or for many of them, to work. Things they no longer can do. Being alone all the time is sad and scary. I know.
I’m sad for people around the world that are dying alone. Dying alone because there isn’t enough protective gear for families to be with their loved ones as they die. Sometimes not even enough for anyone to be with them as they die. While I realize we are all going to die, I have always hoped I didn’t die alone nor did anyone I loved. Naive maybe, but honest and hopeful. Funerals can’t be held and loved ones left behind comforted during the time of social distancing. I have seen how important this is. It can be a life line for those during this time of need.
I’m feeling stupid, scared and sad, but “it’s the virus, stupid.” This won’t be forever and let’s hope we learn different things from this experience. If we don’t – shame on us. In the meantime, be kind to yourself and others. Check on people you love; people living alone; your neighbors; small business owners; and retired folks. Just reach out – but only within 6 feet. Tell them you care. Tell them you know they are out there, even if you can’t touch them right now.
Breath deeply, wash your hands – It’s the virus, stupid.
xo
by Piper Plummer Mehigan | Feb 24, 2020 | Life In General
Fear.
It’s a small word with big meanings and big consequences. For all of us.
Fear is defined by Webster’s dictionary as “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.” For me fear has often been more of the unknown or things we couldn’t touch than it has been of real danger – like violence. In that I am lucky. For many fear is really of imminent danger to their lives, families or person. While very real, that is different than the fear I’m addressing.
This fear is the fear that has stopped me from many things in my life. It is also the fear I feel is stoking so much of what is going on in our world. Certainly things happening in my immediate world.
I would say that most of my life – particularly my younger one – I let fear motivate me and make decisions for me. Some of that might have been good, but much of it was bad. For example, I was afraid to move to a big city and pursue my journalism dream after I graduated from college. Why? Well, fear – fear of failure, fear of big cities, fear of being alone, fear of leaving my comfort zone. For sure FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN! All real fears…or are they?
What is the worst that could have happened from any of those fears?
Failure. Well I would have maybe lost my job and some money. All things I could have worked to fix and change. I was young. I had time. My ego would have suffered, but that too would have recovered with time. And as I say now, my hometown or where I was coming from wasn’t going any place. I could have always gone back. As we age, failure does come with much bigger and real consequences. Always something to consider.
Big cities. That fear is a bit more real for someone from a small town, but later I moved to Chicago and LOVED it. A big city does have lots to “fear.” There is a lot going on in a big city that isn’t in rural America. I figured out the mass transit and when I got lost people helped. I honestly never felt really afraid there. I maybe should have, but I didn’t. And I was cautious for the most part. I learned so much about people that were different than me. And not just different looking, but those who had had different upbringings and lives than mine. Most of my life had been spent in Kentucky with people who not only looked a good bit like me, but had had most of the same experiences I had had.
Being alone. Something I think most of us are afraid of, but don’t we all at some point find ourselves alone? And frankly, it’s something we should all be more comfortable with. I have found myself many times since college very alone – places where I knew no one, places where I had no friends – and those times taught me way more about myself and the world than the times I was surrounded by family and friends.
Leaving my comfort zone. See being alone above. We learn so much when we leave our comfort zones. It can be scary, but this is how we learn about the world and ourselves. And frankly, how we succeed. By succeed, I don’t mean a specific definition of success, but more how we succeed in being the best we can be – whatever that is.
So when I look at those “fears” and what they really are, they don’t seem so real or scary. As I’ve aged, I’ve stopped letting fear make decisions for me as much as I did. And frankly, that has made me more open and accepting of myself.
Some of what I see in the world today seems to be motivated by this brand of fear. Fear of things, cultures and people we don’t know. That fear of the unknown – failure, being alone, big cities, leaving your comfort zone. And some of those things are scary, but I think letting fear make decisions for us is way scarier.
Like it or not, our world is a global one and there is no going back. There is no way to go back to the way we all were before we could easily travel to far away lands and video chat with colleagues and family half way around the world, like they were right next door. Not going back. And do we want to? Not sure, but it doesn’t matter. We aren’t.
In so many ways our world and we – individually – have benefited greatly from the expansion of our immediate worlds and from those who pushed through their fears. We wouldn’t have video chatting and smart phones if Bill Gates and Steve Jobs had let fear define them.
So let’s stop letting fear define us. Try something new. Eat a new food. Learn a new sport. Read a new book genre. Meet some new people that don’t look like you or even think like you. Attend a different church. All of these things might seem scary or weird, but I’m guessing you find how exciting it is and yes, even freeing.
I think what most of us would learn is that that the big city isn’t that different from our small towns. Everyone has failed and learned from it. We’ve all been alone – sometimes because of our fear – and would agree being with others is more fun.
Fear. Don’t let it define us.
